I’M SO EMBARRASSED

Many years ago, I was completely unable to send a simple “hello” text message without having a complete meltdown. I had to have my best friend on the phone with me while I forced myself to send it, and even then, I was terrified, hysterically crying, and bracing for rejection.

I dreaded the void after a message was sent and fought tooth and nail to avoid it at all costs (you can’t experience the void when you simply don’t reach out!) 🤡

Texting was the bane of my existence.
Phone calls? PFFFFFT.
I definitely couldn’t handle that!

Everything involving texting felt like rejection.

Didn’t get a text back immediately?
REJECTED!

He didn’t immediately ask me out on a date?
YOU’RE NOT IMPORTANT! REJECTED!

He didn’t text you first?
HE DOESN’T LIKE YOU! REJECTED!!!

Obviously this was poisoning my love life.

Anticipating a text message filled me with fear. Every time I looked at my phone, I felt agony. It was as if anything involving anticipating communication was nothing more than “the silence before bad news.”

I never felt peace. Ever. (Frankly, I felt embarrassed to suffer over text messages like this.)

And eventually, I couldn’t take it anymore. I was sick of dealing with this, and I was definitely done trying to get my peace from someone else’s communication behavior (because you and I both know it’s an insatiable black hole - there is never “enough” as much as we like to think there is.)

So you know what I did?
I started using the discomfort.

Instead of continuing to bury my head in the sand or conclude my situation was hopeless, every painful moment became an opportunity to practice security and stability.

Little by little, I grew stronger.
As I practiced, the emotional charge around texting lessened.
The telenovelas my brain fabricated became less believable.

And you wanna know the best part?
All the stuff I was telling myself before turned out to not be true!!!

All the horrible conclusions I came to… they were all bullshit.

But here’s the important part: the practice came first, evidence came second.

My decision to be secure no matter what.
To text even if I got rejected.
To look my fear in the face and make it my bitch.

That part came first.

You know what dawned on me recently? 90% of the questions I’ve been receiving from people involve texting in some capacity: hot and cold texting, “what does this mean,” over analysis, anxiety, etc.

But the thing is, when you’re busy wrestling with all the texting madness, you miss out on the texting magic!

What if texting was no longer a source of suffering, and instead was the exact place where your security was built!

And yes, this is exactly what I’m teaching you inside Texting Magic :) you can check out all the details here: